Several years ago, I traveled from
southwest Virginia to Dallas to do safety training. I was joined by my client's
safety director. When we arrived at their office, the staff there didn't know
we were coming. The safety director was quite flustered at this revelation.
"I sent an email giving them all the information they needed to be ready
for us!" he complained.
"Did you get confirmation back
that they had read your email?" I asked.
"Well, no."
"Hmmm..."
That is perhaps an extreme example
of a common communication problem. We often think we did our job by delivering
a message in one form or another. But communication is a partnership. The
process isn't completed until the message is both sent and received.
Sometimes the message is missed completely, as in my example. More often, it is
misunderstood or only partially received.
I liken communication to a forward
pass in football. The quarterback must do his part in delivering the pass on
target. But whether the ball is right on the numbers or five feet over the
receiver's head, if the ball is not caught, the result is the same.
Too often we judge our effectiveness
as communicators by how well we think we delivered the message, rather than by
the results:
- Many technical professionals judge their writing by the detailed information it contains, without realizing that that detail often overwhelms.
- Firm principals often praise the quality of their firm's proposals—despite the low win rate—because they look attractive.
- Polished speakers can deliver flawless presentations but fail to persuade their audience because they ignored the emotional context that drives persuasion.
- Many managers blame the employee for not understanding their instructions, without acknowledging that this is a recurring problem they have with several employees.
- People continue to rely too much on sending emails, without verifying they are read and understood.
Here's an overlooked aspect of
effective communication: The message needs to be delivered so it's more
catchable. And the catch should be confirmed. A few pointers:
Get their attention. In this overcommunicated world,
getting your message across must start with getting your audience's attention.
In the example above, the subject line of my colleague's ignored email read
"Safety Training." What if the subject line had been "Please
Confirm: We're Coming to Your Office June 12"? Wouldn't that have more
likely been noticed? Poorly written subject lines are a common email problem.
Getting attention also applies to
other forms of communication. When my wife has something important to tell me,
she will often ask that I divert my eyes from the computer screen or whatever
I'm reading and look at her. It works. If you're speaking to a group and notice
people not looking at you, you might say, "If I could get your attention,
I'd like to share something important." Simply pausing can also work. Eye
contact is one indicator of attention; head nodding is another. Asking
questions is a good way to affirm people are paying attention.
People also are more inclined to pay
attention when what you have to say matters to them. Start your talk or your
written message by giving your audience a reason to listen or read further:
"There are some big changes coming. I need to tell you how they will
affect your work." Or you might start by asking your audience about what
issues within your topic are of particular interest to them.
Establish trust. People generally don't listen to
someone they don't trust. And even if they do listen despite the lack of trust,
they're more likely to misconstrue the message. So how do you build trust with
your audience, especially if you don't really know them?
The first step is to identify with
them. Connect to common interests, experiences, concerns. For example: "I
have my own concerns about the the proposed changes. I'm going to have to
adjust to doing things differently just like you. But I'm convinced these
changes are the best option not only for the company, but for us as
employees." Identification communicates that you understand where your
audience is coming from, at least in part.
The quickest way to establish trust,
however, is to demonstrate that you care. How can you show you care? By showing
empathy, speaking to audience concerns, using personal language, being
respectful. That last suggestion is just plain common sense, but it's less
common these days, especially when people disagree. Disrespect breaks down
trust, which interferes with the accurate, unbiased reception of your message.
Don't ignore the emotional context. I touched on this earlier, but let
me make it explicit here: Emotions profoundly influence communication. Yet many
communicators—including many technical professionals—seem oblivious to the
emotional context of their messages.
This cuts both ways. Your emotions
can substantially shape your message. Your audience's emotions affect how your
message is interpreted and received. Pay attention to both dynamics. If you
write or speak when angry, for example, expect an angry response. If you're
critical, expect a defensive response. On the other hand, people tend to
respond favorably to someone who is friendly, upbeat, humble, and respectful.
Not only can your emotions influence
how people respond to your message, but your communications should be shaped by
your audience's emotions. As an operations manager, I made the mistake of
responding to my employees' concern about a downturn in the business by being
openly honest about the situation. But that only raised their concerns. I was
conveying information without being sensitive enough to how it made people
feel, which made the information less helpful. Eventually, after I realized my
mistake, I was able to be more encouraging by focusing on the steps we could
all take to turn things around.
Use a common, personal language. The technical professions have
developed distinct terminologies. These words can clarify and specify for those
within that discipline, but they tend to exclude and confuse others. Sometimes
I think that exclusion is intentional, perhaps to accentuate our expertise. Yet
it often impedes our communication. The advice is to avoid the unnecessary and inappropriate
use of jargon.
But speaking a common language is
not simply about avoiding certain words. It also includes adopting words—and
ways of putting words together—that connect with your audience. The best advice
is to use a conversational tone. This means favoring common conventions of
everyday language. Take note of how top business authors and speakers convey
their message. And, yes, that's appropriate in the technical professions.
Confirm that your message was
received as intended. That
could be as simple as a return email or a corresponding action that fulfills
your expectation. But often it's more involved than that. For example, an
affirmative response to your question "You got that?" doesn't
necessarily mean you were understood. Hence, my wife will not only ask that I
give her my attention but will sometimes request that I explain what she told
me to do (and with good reason, as I've been known to misinterpret her
instructions!).
If you prefer a less direct approach
to seeking confirmation, consider these tips: Rather than you summarizing what
you said, ask your audience to take a stab at it. Assign someone the
responsibility of providing a written summary of your meeting's outcomes.
Request that your employee write a task list based on what you instructed him
or her to do. Call the client to confirm that your email or memo was clear and
properly understood.
Each of these steps is designed to
determine that the most important part of your communication (message
reception) was a success. You can't judge that by only evaluating how well you
think it was sent (a common mistake). Your audience is the ultimate judge. So
be sure you're crafting your messages specifically for them. Because you know
what can happen when the ball is dropped, no matter who is at fault.
